What I love and What I hate Wednesday


I don't think anything is better then a beautiful, sunny Autumn day in the Pacific Northwest. Arlington to be more specific. But I don't think that's what I am going to love today...

I am very excited that I got my Sex and the City disc in the mail today. But again I think that's just not good enough...

What's worthy of my love today??? I witnessed something today that prompted the hallelujah song in my mind.

Gas is officially under $3.00 around here!!!!!!!!

$2.99 at Safeway and $2.89 at Arco. I usually get my gas at Safeway because I frequently get a great discount there and its on the right side of the road. I don't really shop there because its a little to expensive for me but my brother in law does ALOT of shopping there AND he uses our phone number for the club card discounts. Which means I almost always have a 10-20 cent discount when I get gas. I don't remember why he uses our number but why question a perfect situation. Now if the darn economy would snap out of it, car sales would get back to normal. But I am not going to think about that today.

Let me tell you whats worthy of being hated today....

Multiple poopy diapers in one day!!!

That darn child of mine!!! I envision still wiping his bum at high school graduation!! ARGG!

Hmmm on second thought...

Remember when I said I wanted more kids???

Recently we had a visit from little Zach and his mom Teresa. He is a little over a year old and is cute as a button (as cute as you can get without being my own child) He is your typical 14 month old. Very curious and active. Learning new discoveries and whats appropriate to get into and play with.

Maybe I don't want more kids

Maybe I don't want to do this all over again

Maybe someone needs to talk some sense into me!

That ONE thing that's always on my mind

When I was growing up, I knew that all I wanted for my life was to be a wife and a mom. No strong urges for a career...just babies! During high school and my brief stint with college, I actually started to fear that I wouldn't get married. Not because I hadn't gotten married by that point but because guys just didn't seem to be interested in me. I had 2 boyfriends in my younger years and both of them were dramatic and not very healthy for me. I couldn't help feel down on myself and slightly panicky that there was something wrong with me, that I might not be able to find the one who would love me. I needed a back up plan since babies might not be in my future and decided I would have to pick a career or SOMETHING. But babies were still in my mind and still are today. Fortunately I did find someone to love me. Someone to love all the things that are wrong with me. The kind of person I never thought I would end up with but still did anyways. And I was able to have 2 wonderful, perfect babies but.......babies are STILL on my mind.

Kyler came so quick and easy for us. Some people might think its crazy to get pregnant 3 months after getting married but it was right for us in so many areas. And because of that I envisioned I would get exactly what I had wanted and dreamed for my life to really happen. Babies and more babies.

Fast forward 2 1/2 yrs later and I get pregnant. Again it was quick....but not easy. I miscarried at about 12 weeks and was absolutely devastated. These things happen to other people. Not me! I could not (and still can't to this day) believe that I would be one of THOSE woman. I sometimes think that I would have a 7 year old to love right now. Doctor said it would be better to wait at least 3 months to get pregnant again. So we waited...

And waited....


And waited...


And waited...


And waited...

Much to my breaking heart, nothing was happening. Year after year after year. Period after period after period. I still get tears just thinking about that time of my life. I was so sad and so heart broken. We prayed and prayed. And even though we wanted another child we understood that it was in Gods timing. I would tell myself that if I had known Kyler would be the one and only, I would have done so many things different. I would have savored more of the moments. Taken more pictures or...something. I so desperately wanted him to have a sibling. I myself don't have a sibling and even though its not my parents fault at all.....I still couldn't help feel I was left out of the "sibling club".

Fast forward again. Its the year 2004. Many things have changed for us. We had not only moved out of the rut we were in but into our very own house. Todd is making more money. I am making money. Thank God we were finally making more money! And with that money came health insurance. With that health insurance we found out the problem. Thank God we finally found out the problem! A simple surgery and 3 months later we are pregnant! I was shocked and stunned to say the least. Doctor said that the surgery wouldn't guarantee anything and me being a "glass half empty" kind of girl, didn't put to much hope into it. Especially about this kind of thing. I was NOT going to get my hopes up again. But God came through in the end. He heard our prayers. It was totally the right timing. You wouldn't believe how right the timing was and how it soooo wasn't back when we were desperately praying. I call Kaden our miracle baby. Our family was more complete once he arrived.

Fast forward almost 3 yrs. Present time. Kaden is almost 3 yrs old. I catch myself watching him like I am trying to record and burn everything in my mind. Because like I said...I am thinking about babies. Babies that don't seem to be coming AGAIN! Why do we have to work so hard for something that is so easy for so many people? I have tried telling myself that I should be happy with the 2 babies I have had. Some people don't even have that much. I had thought that I would be able to get past it. But lately I am having doubts about that. I want...no I need another one. I am feeling that hole again. I am getting that desperation feeling again. That if I don't get pregnant...I may just go crazy. Or if I don't get pregnant, could Kaden just stay little forever? I had to write about this because its so heavy on my heart that I feel I may burst. Hoping that getting this out would somehow gain some relief. It seems to be all I think about. I am consumed by it. Todd is going to wonder where the heck this is coming from because I haven't really talked about. I have a tendency to hold things in for a long time. I don't want to relive those dark years of disappointment and tears but Good God its happening again.

When is it going to be my turn? When will I not have to work so hard for EVERYTHING?

All I want is just one more

What I Love and What I hate Wednesday

Its officially fall around here and so that means I am cooking more. Why? I don't know...that's just how it works around here. Maybe its the cold weather, the lack of money or it just gives me something to do because I can't go to the beach anymore. I have recently discovered a new recipe for Enchiladas and because I love them sooooo much, I want to share them with you. These babies are so good you may fall in love with me and ask me to marry you. I'm totally being serious!

Okay people. Lets get down to business here. Lets make enchiladas

Before we begin, let me explain that there are three separate components to these enchiladas: THE SAUCE. THE MEAT. And THE REST. So I’ll split up the Cast of Characters accordingly

For THE SAUCE y ou’ll need canned 28 oz Mexican red sauce (or enchilada sauce), low sodium chicken broth, canola oil, flour, salt, pepper, and cilantro. Let me repeat: this is for THE SAUCE.


Let’s get the sauce going first. Okay? Okay. Throw 2 tablespoon canola oil into a medium saucepan, followed by 1-2 tablespoon flour. Whisk it together over medium-low heat.
Keep whisking as it cooks, and continue cooking for about 2 or 3 minutes. this is the base for the sauce
Add 2 cups of chicken stock
Pour in the red sauce, 1/2 teaspoon pepper and 1/2 teaspoon salt (note that some canned mexican sauce is quite PICOSO [look it up] so you'll want to do your homework if you are sensitive to flames shooting from you eyeballs) Give it a good stir and simmer on low heat while you mess around with the other stuff.

Now. Lets make THE MEAT!

Dice up your onion and throw it into a large skillet with a tablespoon of oil. Saute for a couple of minutes. Then brown 1 pound of hamburger. Once it's brown, dump in a large can of chilies. (oh, and you can drain the fat off the hamburger before adding the chilies if you feel like being a health nut or a responsible citizen)

Go ahead and add a little salt to the meat. Now turn it off and tell the meat to cool its heels for awhile.

Next component: THE REST

For THE REST you'll need corn tortillas, chopped black olives, sliced green onions and grated cheese.

In a small skillet over medium heat, fry individual corn tortillas in oil just until soft. You don’t want them to get crispy at all—just soft and a little blistered, about 3 seconds per side. Place tortillas on a paper towel-lined plate and keep warm while you finish them all up.

And now its time to assemble. Get your tortilla..coat it with sauce...place in your filling of meat, olives, onions and cheese...roll it up and place it seam side down in a pan that has a layer of sauce on the bottom. Repeat Repeat and Repeat!

Once you get them all into a baking dish, pour THE SAUCE over the top. If you like a lot of sauce, and I do, really lay it on thick. If you like things a little less over the top, well, take it easy. And of course we must add plenty of cheese and chopped cilantro over the top.

Now just bake it in a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes, or until cheese is melted and enchiladas are bubbly and your appetite has shot through your roof, leaving an unsightly hole.

Mmmm. Goodness gracious sakes alive, I can’t tell you how good this smells. It smells like tiny, sparkly enchilada fairies have waved their magic wands in my kitchen. While I was in the middle of cooking these I said to myself "good grief there are alot of steps in this recipes. I don't think I will be making these again" Well let me tell ya...after tasting these I was like "oh yeah I am making these again!" It's sooo worth it.

Is your mouth watering yet?
Mine is. And this is a problem. This brings me to what I hate. Because I made the enchiladas in this photo several days ago. And there now gone. Gone in ten minutes!

I also hated the mess it made in my kitchen. Shees! You should have seen it!

Things are getting a little cold around here. I have a feelings its going to be a cold Winter since the Summer wasn't all that desirable. Once Fall hits, I can guarantee that I will be cold until approximately April. That's just how it is for me....cold hands and cold feet. But thankfully I have found a way to keep my feet warmer this year.............

I like finding multiple uses for things around the house!

Because one Kaden just isn't enough!

Rules of the Wii

Learn basic tips from the older, wiser and more experienced

Be immune to all distractions
The right facial expressions make all the difference

Keep hydrated whenever possible

Always mimic your brother

Stay deeply focused

Wear your wrist strap at all times

When all else fails, just look really cute while you have a dity sock on and a suspicious smell about you....you'll win everytime!

A glimpse inside my husbands head

After I posted my thoughts on conserving energy in our home, I explained to Todd what we were doing and if he could please be on board with me on it. I told him it was going to take some team effort and a little getting used to but I was confident we could save a little money. He gave me his best "she's on another crazy tirade" look and said sure, alright..whatever. Later on in the evening, after having to remind everyone several times to "turn off the light, it doesn't need to be on" and unplug that please, your not using it" Todd made such a guy comment I could not believe it came out of his mouth.

"you know honey....unplugging the lights and small appliances won't make to much of a difference. And the tv in our bedroom doesn't use as much energy cuz its a LCD flat screen ...Not like the one in the living room which is a tube tv."

And that was all he said. Did you hear his real meaning behind the words?

He was actually trying to build a case that it would be more cost effective and energy efficient if we were to replace the living room TV with an LCD flat screen!

Only a guy I tell ya..only a guy! Its a good thing this family has me