This is where I finally say it!

When I started this here blog of mine, I envisioned it to be a place I could share my thoughts, feelings, memories and stories. And its really been great so far! I have been able to document things about my children so I can look back and never forget. And of course I want everyone to read it and catch a glimpse into my world. When I started this I knew I wanted to be very open about what goes on. And I feel like I have been so far.....except for one thing. You see there is this one thing that has really shaped who I am as person. This one thing that makes me want to live my life in a way that everyone will look at me and say to themselves....."I want to know what she knows" But so far this one thing as been very unspoken....an elephant in the room....a bush that's being beaten around. The most important thing that has happened in my life and I have been bashful to talk about it. And its not that I am ashamed. That's the furthest thing from the truth because in all reality I want to shout it from the roof tops! I have whats called "my story" and I love to share it but....I am afraid there are some people who don't want to hear "my story". And that is what holds me back. I hate making waves! And I am afraid waves may be made.

But of course we ALL know what I am talking about! I am talking about the fact that I was once a Mormon and now I am not....I consider myself a Christian...there I said it! I have spoken it....the elephant has been let outside and I am done beating that darn bush. This is who I am and why should I hide who I am?

Why am I bringing all this up now? Hmmm...I don't really know. Maybe because I am an adult and I can say whatever the heck I want to. Take it or leave it.....Like it or not....Be my friend or don't! Speaking of friends.......

Even though I am not of the Mormon faith and I wasted a lot of my life believing the wrong things, there is one thing I don't have any regrets about.....my friends! I had the best friends and the best time growing up with them. We had so much fun and made some really great memories. And that is something I will never regret. And because of Facebook (aka the best invention in the world!) I have been able to get in touch with some of my old friends that I haven't talked to in a long time. Its been alot of fun catching up with everyone. Just this last weekend I was able to get together with some of them to celebrate a wedding.

It was funny how much everyone has changed but yet still stayed the same. It was huge decision for me to even go. In someways I knew it would be uncomfortable (and sometimes it was) but I really wanted to see them. Especially these people...

They are who I saw at seminary every morning at 6 am....who I went to dances with....who I hung out with at various peoples houses. Of course there are alot of people missing from this picture but unfortunately they weren't there that evening. Even though I don't have the same beliefs as they do anymore and we can never be as close as were...I still love them. I still pray for them and I still wish them every happiness in the world!

And "My Story"?? Well, it will be told...but not today. It's long and I need to write it out so I can make sure it comes out perfect and the way I want it too. So stay tuned if you want to read about the best thing that's ever happened to me! (besides Todd)