He is someone that over the years I have had a love/ hate relationship with. At times he can totally frustrate me and other times he has really come to my rescue. He is a tough one. A hard worker and someone who would give you the shirt off his back.
Instead he is laying in the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital. Instead he is in a drug-induced coma with a ventilator down his throat.
What happened???
It happened so fast we are still asking ourselves that same question!
He had been sick all week with some kind of flu (no, not the swine flu!) Wednesday night it got so bad he became SEVERELY dehydrated. Close to death kind of dehydration! I won't go into the gory details about that but after he had some sort of seizure my mom called 911. After he got to the hospital he was quickly diagnosed with pneumonia. Possibly a sepsis infection which is something that grows in the blood. So he was immediately admitted to ICU and over the last few days has steadily gotten worse. They are describing him as a puzzle and still haven't figured out what exactly is going on. But this is what we do know right now..
Pneumonia, lungs are bleeding, broken rib from coughing, extremely low blood pressure (but this has gotten slightly better) liver is in distress, kidney possibly in distress, heart is in distress, dehydration is obviously under control now, some sort of other infection possibly sepsis, low oxygen.
Which is how we come to the ventilator part. He was having such a hard time breathing that all his effort and strength was going into that. Doctors wanted him on a ventilator so his body would relax and not have to fight at it. With him being in a drug-induced coma with a ventilator, the doctors can now treat him better. But....its really hard seeing him like that. He is extremely puffy and bloated with a thousand wires and tubes coming out of him. He is lifeless and completely unrecognizable. We can't even talk to him anymore because any stimulation makes him agitated. He will try coughing in his sleep and he will come closer to the suface. And of course we don't want him waking up!
How am I doing? I know everyone is going to ask that. I am doing as well as can be expected I guess. I have never been in this type of situation before. My dad has been in and out of the hospital for years with 3 heart attacks and 1 triple bypass surgery. I always felt he was going to be ok. I knew he would walk out of there no problem. But now?.......I don't know about that anymore. Its hard to look at him and imagine him snapping out of this. I am feeling down which is to be expected. But there are so many other emotions mixed in with that. Was I a good enough daughter? Should I have been more understanding and patient with him? Part of me just wants to turn around and just forget it. Its hard to go to the hospital. Its hard to even touch him and talk to him. Its all very surreal and uncomfortable. I don't know what is in my dads heart and if anything were to happen.....would God have mercy on him? Where is he going to go? My mom seems to be handling this well but I feel I need to step in and be the strong one. The shoulder to lean on. And that's ok. Its what my mom needs and I am good at it. But its draining and the whole thing makes me tired.
So please pray! For me. For my mom. And above all else my dad. Pray for comfort, healing, wisdom and strength. Pray that I can picture him walking out of there and taking my kids fishing this summer.
